[March 2, 2004]

We here at Moviepie.com can't help it... Like most movie fans, the Oscar broadcast is our personal Superbowl. Like many of you, we watch the annual Academy Awards with a super-critical eye: We love the fashion, the flubs, the embarrassments, the inspiring moments, the surprises, and when our faves are justly rewarded. So here's our wrap-up for the 2003 Academy Awards! — Linda and Vickie

Vickie's Picks:
5 Things I Loved

1. Jack Black and Will Ferrell. Funny, irreverent, fresh and easily the show's brightest spot. Memo to the Oscar producers: how 'bout they host next year?

2. Shohreh Aghdashloo's stunning transformation from put-upon movie wife (in House of Sand and Fog) to glammed-up runway goddess at the ceremony. She looked a good 15 years younger than she did in her nominated performance.

3. Sally Kirkland showing up, as she does every year, as soon as they gates opened and wearing an appropriately hideous outfit. It just ain't the Oscars without Sally tramping up the proceedings.

4. Keisha Castle-Hughes' genuine awe at being at the Academy Awards. Adorable!

5. Sandra Bullock. Since Maggie Gyllenhaal wasn't in attendance, I transferred my swooning to this gorgeously goofy gal. *sigh*

Vickie's Picks:
5 Things I Loathed

1. Sofia Coppola's slouchy, monotone, unenthused, borderline-sedated and vaguely Valley Girl delivery of everything that flopped out of her mouth the whole night long, from her red carpet interviews to her acceptance speech. Geez, somebody shake her or give her a B-12 shot or something. It's suddenly remarkably clear why she's more comfortable *behind* the camera.

2. Shohreh Aghdashloo losing to Renée Zellweger as the best supporting actress of the year. Come on! Argh.

3. Long, rambling, boring shopping-list acceptance speeches that contain NOTHING other than a series of names recited one after another. They're not really even speeches - it's more like lackey roll calls. Agent? Check. Lawyer? Check. Accountant? Check. Studio hacks? Check. Manager? Check...

4. Charlize? George Hamilton called. He'd like his tan back. Step AWAY from the mist-on tan booth, my friend. Step away! (Does she know she was orange? Orange, people!)

5. Uma... why?

Linda's Picks:
5 Reasons the Oscars were Great

2. Predicting when the cameras were slowly going to zoom to protect viewers from the distracting Nipple Factor (hello there, Angelina Jolie). Too bad there weren't any wardrobe malfunctions!

3. The Best Song nominees were all worthy for once, and none were from gag-worthy Disney cartoons! Annie Lennox was one of the most joyously appreciative winners of the evening, and the song from Triplets of Belleville saucily sparked up the proceedings, if only for a few minutes. Special mention goes to the Sting's performance of the song "You Will Be My Ain True Love" because a) He played a hurdy-gurdy, and b) He smartly gave the spotlight to the lovely and talented Alison Krauss.

4. You never had a chance, Fernando Meirelles, director of City of God, but for those of us not staring at Peter Jackson while the Best Director award was being annouced, saw a happy little guy in the corner of the screen grinning excitedly and waving his fingers in the peace symbol at the camera. Just imagine what sort of enthusiasm he would have brought to the show if he had actually won!

5. Adrien Brody squirting some breath freshener into his mouth before announcing the Best Actress winner.

Linda's Picks:
5 Reasons the Oscars were Tiresome

1. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King racking up tons of awards, making for a rather suspenseless evening, and shutting out many movies that would have been worthy award winners any other year.

2. Julia Roberts, who is so comfortable and confident in her celebrity, that she made casual asides and a sloppy introduction of the tribute to a REAL Hollywood class-act: the late, great Katharine Hepburn.

3. Jim Carrey's speaking-in-tongues introduction of special award winner Blake Edwards. What the f...? Sometimes I think these comedians are on their own planet. (This includes you, Robin Williams)

4. When one of the LOTR: ROTK guys won, and made a reference to dating Billy Crystal's cousin many many years ago, one Billy Reaction Shot of Confusion would have been fine, but four? Five? This wasn't Billy's moment, Oscar! Give the award-winner his moment in the camera!

5. Dammit! No crying! Charlize's "I'm not going to cry!" thanks to her mom was the closest that the awards got me to tearing up. Where's the waterworks, kids? Usually there are at least a couple good break-down-and-sob thank yous that make me reach for the tissues, but this year was sadly (no pun intended) lacking.

[See the full list of 2003 Oscar Winners, plus our pre-award Picks and Predictions.]