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Are you an oldish American man with no social skills looking to marry a young, vivacious Mexican woman? Well, Ivan Thompson is the man for you. For a mere $3,000, this Cowboy Cupid can find an adorable bride for even the most repellent man, and Cowboy Del Amor gives...
Here we are at the end of another lackluster year at the movies. Out of all the releases in 2006, I was passionate about seeing only three: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, The Lake House, and Rocky Balboa. I watched Pirates twice, bought a t-shirt, a key...
What a fabulously bad movie I just unearthed! The Spiral Staircase is dated, melodramatic, and full of cliches, but boy is it fun to make fun of. Throw in the always excellent Christopher Plummer, a young Jacqueline Bisset, and Elaine Stritch, and you know you’re in for a wild...
Dreamland is one of those sleepy indie movies that doesn’t necessarily knock your socks off, but sticks in your mind long after the credits have rolled. With its stunning skyscapes and memorable characters, this little movie about life in a remote New Mexico trailer park speaks volumes about what...
If you want to make your head explode, try answering the hard questions about Somewhere in Time. If an old Jane Seymour gives a young Christopher Reeve a watch in 1972, where did the watch actually come from if he first gave it to her in 1912, while traveling...
I can’t believe it—I did it again! I found another so-bad-it’s-good Christopher Plummer movie! With The Spiral Staircase I’m two for two! And Eyewitness is full of before-they-were-megafamous faces! William Hurt plays Daryll Deaver, a night janitor with a major crush on reporter Toni Sokolow (Sigourney Weaver). He tapes...
I watched The Silent Partner at the end of a day spent convalescing with a horrible headache and listening to Christopher Plummer read The Nutcracker on tape. By evening I was feeling much recovered, and had comforting visions of Candy Town dancing in my head. I was pleased to...
Against the Ropes isn’t a total failure or washout. It is the type of film that is the quality of an average, if forgettable, made-for-TV film. No one really embarrasses themselves, and the plot is as simple and straightforward as you can get. You are never really in doubt...
I can only think that Philip Seymour Hoffman must have had a blast playing Truman Capote. In fact, had this movie come out when I was younger, I would have added Truman to my list of “Favorite People to Imitate Badly” immediately after viewing it. Impressions of Helen Keller...
Terrence Malick doesn’t know it, but he’s in the wrong business. He was born to be a nature photographer, yet something compels him to wrap actors and stories around his photographs and call them movies. The New World is a film about Pocahontas that never even mentions her by...
I should have known better than to get all excited about Must Love Dogs, but I always lose my wits when Christopher Plummer factors into the deal. He’s the reason I ignored several warning signs, including a heads up to Diane Lane calling someone a stupidhead at some point...
The Lake House is the kind of romance that sparks the imagination and leaves you thinking, “why can’t that happen to me?” or, more specifically, “why can’t I have a magical time machine mailbox?” This postal miracle allows Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock to correspond with one another through...
