Big guns

Shooter

Complete the following comparison: Eddie Murphy’s Norbit is to Dreamgirls As Mark Wahlberg’s ________ is to The Departed Yes, Shooter is right up there with Norbit as a shockingly bad film that almost single-handedly sends its star right back to square one. The only difference is that Mark Wahlberg walked the red carpet at the …

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The Expendables

The names on the movie poster should make any action-movie fan drool: Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis, Li, Lundgren, Statham, Rourke, and on, and on. My god, ALL these ass-kickers in one movie??! Yes! Yes! But… Oh, God. As soon as you see the first close-up of Sylvester Stallone’s eerily plasticized face, you gasp with shock and …

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Machete Kills

Having experienced the legend that is Machete, I was super excited for the sequel, Machete Kills. My boyfriend and I waited for opening day with rising anticipation and then…I got a migraine. And it seemed as though I may have been solely responsible for the movie tanking on opening weekend. After all, had we been …

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The Last Stand

Ahh-nold Schwarzenegger is getting a bit long in the tooth, despite the resurgence of him and his aged 80’s action movie buddies in the popular Expendables series. His small-town sheriff, Ray, seems to know this as well. Ray goes to the town diner, and practically sighs as he orders breakfast and coffee on his day …

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