Complete the following comparison: Eddie Murphy’s Norbit is to Dreamgirls As Mark Wahlberg’s ________ is to The Departed Yes, Shooter is right up there with Norbit as a shockingly bad film that almost single-handedly sends its star right back to square one. The only difference is that Mark Wahlberg walked the red carpet at the …
The names on the movie poster should make any action-movie fan drool: Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis, Li, Lundgren, Statham, Rourke, and on, and on. My god, ALL these ass-kickers in one movie??! Yes! Yes! But… Oh, God. As soon as you see the first close-up of Sylvester Stallone’s eerily plasticized face, you gasp with shock and …
When making a direct-to-video Steven Seagal film, it’s probably best to have a really simple good vs. evil plot that people can follow. That’s kind of a good rule of thumb for any movie, but when expectations are already low, you don’t want to put any hurdles in front of your audience, like, “Who is …
Having experienced the legend that is Machete, I was super excited for the sequel, Machete Kills. My boyfriend and I waited for opening day with rising anticipation and then…I got a migraine. And it seemed as though I may have been solely responsible for the movie tanking on opening weekend. After all, had we been …
I’m the first to admit that I had no idea of the context of the G.I. Joe franchise, as envisioned by the 1980s line of toys with the “complex background story involving an ongoing struggle between the G.I. Joe Team and the evil Cobra Command which seeks to take over the Free World through terrorism” …
There is really no reason at all to have an all-American cop like Bruce Willis’ John McClane in Moscow. But the Die Hard series just won’t die easily, after being resurrected in Live Free or Die Hard for the internet age. The problem is, Bruce is getting old. Sure, in his late 50s he is …
Ahh-nold Schwarzenegger is getting a bit long in the tooth, despite the resurgence of him and his aged 80’s action movie buddies in the popular Expendables series. His small-town sheriff, Ray, seems to know this as well. Ray goes to the town diner, and practically sighs as he orders breakfast and coffee on his day …
The opening sequence of Assault on Precinct 13 is an assault on the senses. Let me say this: The handheld camera with grainy and contrasty cinematography, combined with MTV-style editing should be used sparingly, people. And your film has to be actually good (see 21 Grams, for instance) to justify an entire movie using this …
Hot women in skimpy clothes? Profanity? More explosions? More gun fights? Lots and lots and lots of initially cool but quickly tiresome and unnecessary slo-mo shots? Then, my friend, you will LOOOOOOVE Bad Boys II, which contains all those things and more, and really should have been called Bad Boys II: Blowin’ S**t Up! Director …