Fred Claus has issues. For one thing, he’s spent most of his life living in the shadow of his saintly brother, Nicholas (yes, Saint Nicholas, a rotund goody-goody of a little boy who grows into the man we all know and love as Santa Claus). This has caused a whole host of behavioral problems, landing poor Fred on the naughty list for most of his life. He never seems to live up to his parents’ expectations…or his girlfriend’s…or those of the Chicago police. Worst of all, he doesn’t even come close to living up to the expectations of moviegoers in the eponymous Fred Claus.
The movie begins with the birth of Nicholas Claus in a remote village long, long ago. At least we assume it was a long time ago, because the Claus family (headed by the fabulous Kathy Bates) lives in a house equivalent to one you might see on Little House on the Prairie, and everyone looks sort of grubby, as though indoor plumbing hasn’t quite come along. Fred has every intention of being the best big brother ever, but his hopes are dashed when his parents cast him aside in favor of their perfect little Nicholas. Pretty soon resentment is brewing, and by the time Fred is a grown man, he has almost completely cut ties with his family.
At this point we flash forward to the present day, where a fortyish Fred Claus is played by Vince Vaughn. As far as I can tell, there is no mention made of the bizarre time lapse or the fact that Fred and the rest of the fam’ should now be more like one hundred and forty years old. Nicholas (Paul Giamatti) is prematurely grey, but that can be attributed to his highly stressful occupation, and their parents look virtually the same. Huh.
Though Fred has a decent apartment, a hilarious neighbor boy (Bobb’e J. Thompson) who climbs through his window at all random times, and a cute girlfriend named Wanda (Rachel Weisz), he’s little more than an overgrown child. Things will never be right for him until he deals with the bitterness and jealousy he feels toward Nick, and he gets the perfect opportunity to confront his demons after he’s arrested for soliciting for a phony charity (i.e. himself). He has no choice but to call Nick and ask for bail, but there’s a catch: Nick will only send the money if Fred comes home for Christmas. It turns out that he’s got some issues too, and his relationship with bad-boy Fred is right at the top of the list.
I’d like to say that hilarity ensues once Fred reaches the North Pole, but despite its likable cast, most of Fred Claus is just a mess. Fred dances with the elves. Fred makes everyone look bad in front of an efficiency expert (Kevin Spacey). Fred and Nick have a fight. Fred helps an elf-sized John Michael Higgins romance a regular-sized Elizabeth Banks (ew!). None of this hangs together very well, but there’s no question as to where all of this is going. Eventually Fred saves Christmas, reconciles with his family, and commits himself to the lovely Wanda. There are some sweet moments along the way, but certainly not enough to save the movie. The true highlight of the film is when Fred visits a sibling support group attended by none other than Frank Stallone, Stephen Baldwin, and Roger Clinton. Apart from little Bobb’e J. Thompson’s spirited performance, Frank is the best part of the whole movie. Need I say more?
