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Few onscreen couples can compare to Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas. They have such perfect chemistry that it’s possible to tolerate the sometimes silly, over-the-top situations in their movies for the sake of seeing them together. No matter how absurd things get, they never lose their credibility. I always...
I always imagined that The Wicker Man would be about a great big Wicker Man lumbering across the countryside, wreaking havoc and scaring the bumpkins. Oh, and he’d also be on fire. This is all I could glean from the cover of the original, so you can imagine my...
As strides in technology make the impossible possible, it seems as though scientists are often doing things because they can without considering whether they should. Throw in a little religion, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. This is exactly what happens in The Custom Mary, a strange yet...
When high schooler Charley Brewster (Will Payne) and his friends learn that they’ll be studying art in Romania, they are thrilled. It’s a wild experience from the get-go, with a freaky sexpot of a professor (Gerri Dandridge) offering up flickery, strobe-lighty slide shows and late night tours to visit...
Eddie The Sleepwalking Cannibal is a lesson in not judging a DVD by its cover. I really hate that cover. I hated it so much that I was afraid the movie would somehow have cartoons in it, like, graphic, cannibalistic cartoons. I hated it so much that I immediately...
Despite the fact that I flat-out couldn’t finish The Polar Express and have no idea how it ends, I feel like Night Train would make a perfect sequel. It’s a creepy, Christmasy tale set entirely on a train, and the low-budget sets give you the impression that you’re watching...
As a reviewer, it’s always weird to get a sparkly new boxed set in the mail and think to yourself, “Wowie! This thing is awesome! It comes in a tin! With stickers! And lots of movies! And extra features! I love this!” And then you start poking around on...
For some reason, the memory of my mom bringing Savannah Smiles home from the library during the winter of 1986 is burned into my brain. It’s stuck to an afternoon spent rearranging my bedroom and listening to Billy Ocean on the radio, but after all these years I had...
Based on the 1960s TV series, The Fugitive is a deft, action-packed chase movie rife with star power, impressive stunts, and clever plotting. Harrison Ford steps into the role of surgeon Richard Kimble, wrongfully convicted of killing his wife. After seizing the opportunity to escape from a prison bus,...
Remember when Goldie Hawn was America’s funny, fresh-faced sweetheart, Kurt Russell was our favorite rugged ex-Disney kid actor with a heart of gold, and together they were the most adorable couple since, like, Barbie and Ken? If not, perhaps you’re too young to remember the 80’s comedy Overboard and...
Clint Eastwood movies have always been essential viewing at our house, but I remember thinking that Pale Rider was especially hot. I was only about nine when I saw it the first time, and it struck me as very romantic and delightfully Little House on the Prairie-ish. I decided...
Sometimes I feel compelled to review movies not because I think anyone is going to run out and see them, but to prove to myself that they exist. I figure one day some poor soul will stumble upon them like I did and wonder to themselves, “Am I really...
